I'm anxious. I love Asia, I know I love Asia. But this is a summer when I could really see if Asia is it for me. If its more than just a place to invest a few summers while in college. To be completely honest, I don't know what to anticipate in the way of such things.
I'm inadequate. I'm honestly not sure I've ever felt more inadequate about anything in my life. And here I am, preparing to lead a team on the other side of the world while we work together in teaching English. Very little about that statement makes very much sense to me. Thankfully, I have been reminded of a verse in second Corinthians:
"That is why, for Christ’s sake,
I delight in weaknesses,
in insults, in hardships,
in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong."
(12:10)
I delight in weaknesses,
in insults, in hardships,
in persecutions, in difficulties.
For when I am weak, then I am strong."
(12:10)
I'm excited. I'm going back to one of the most beautiful places I've ever laid my eyes on. I get to be reunited with some friends from last year. and I get to connect with hearts that are yearning so heavily for the Gospel. Asian culture is magnificent. Chopsticks, walking everywhere, dark hair, tonal language. ohhhh man. I'm excited.
and yet, my heart remains heavy. Be praying for restoration. Be praying for guidance. Be praying for strength. Thank you, my friends.
and yet, my heart remains heavy. Be praying for restoration. Be praying for guidance. Be praying for strength. Thank you, my friends.
2 comments:
My dear. I know your heart feels troubled because of all the emotions that you're feeling, and it probably seems strange that you aren't as outwardly excited as you have been in the past. It's understandable that you would feel inadequate for this task; not because you ARE inadequate, of course, but because it's huge task and it's easy for us to evaluate ourselves and our struggles and think "There's no way I'm the one God wants to use to do something this huge on the other side of the world. But take heart, because God used a man with a speech impediment to address the ruler of a nation; He used a man who killed more Christians than one can count to write a huge portion of His own word and to lead so many churches to service in Him; He used a scrawny teenager to slay a giant and then led that kid to be Israel's king. God sees in you all that He needs to accomplish what He is looking to accomplish in Hong Kong this summer. Along with that scripture in 2 Corinthians, rest and trust in the fact that it doesn't matter what you think you're capable or worthy of, because God desires with all His heart to use you and to bless you through this. I love you very much, and I'm praying for you!
Just so you know, I felt the same way both summers that I went back. So you're not alone! The Father is going to use this summer to blow you away! And he'll show you where he's leading, just keep on listening! (Heather is a good resource if you are thinking about long term in China!) Excited to see how the Father works this summer!
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