Christmas Mornin' Feelin'?

I'm not sleeping properly. I'm not really okay with it, but this time, at least I have a semi-decent reason for it.
My fourteen year old brother is leaving for Puerto Rico tomorrow, or rather, later today. And he's going that way for a mission trip! Its truly exciting to see him growing in Christ and yearning to serve his King. Earlier he came downstairs because he couldn't sleep. He's as excited as I am for him! But he made the statement that its practically like Christmas.
I found a flaw in his statement. It is the complete opposite of Christmas. The night before Christmas is about waiting for all the things you're going to get in the morning. The toys, games and clothes that will all fade away. But not being able to sleep because of this excitement is different.
This excitement is when selfishness transforms into selflessness. Yes, my brother will indeed be rewarded through obedience, but its not about him. This traveling adventure isn't about what he can get out of it. Its about being completely outside of yourself and existing for something greater. something eternal.

i want to see us yearn for the excitement of the transformation from selfishness. and not just have this kind of excitement for other, but also ourselves. do we find ourselves being willing to personally be selfless, or is it easier to watch everyone else manage it?

addiction

knitting is addicting. no seriously, my fingers are killing me but I can't make myself stop.

3/19/10

i'm not sure
how hard we'll fall
before we reach the top
of the wayward
willow tree.
that stands

alone.

surrounded by
foreign types.
waiting.
waiting.
waiting.
for the rain to
hold her
down.

though i never have the chance.

i was never much of a writer. . but a reader, now i've got that one covered.



i'm more passionate than i realized. now cultivation must continue without doubt.

forgiveness.

'Have mercy on me, O God,
according to your unfailing love,
according to your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin,

For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me,
Against you, you only, have I sinned
and done what is evin in your sight,
so you are right in your verdict
and justified when you judge.'


Psalm 51:1-4

right now

'this is for the girl next door
who thinks she knows me
she adore the way my words
feel just like home
but she don't know
the sadness flow
that pours out nightly,
still i keep rolling
the lonesome road out
before me.

this is for the boy next door
who thinks he loves me
he adores the voice that soars
into his heart
but he don't know
the sadness flow
that pours out nightly,
still i keep rolling
the lonesome road out
before me.

Where do you lie down?
And can I lie too,
Oh just for a moment,
But then I gotta go.'
-Ingrid Michaelson

he trys to find a cure for the pain

'so blood is fire pulsing through our veins
we're either riders or fools behind the reins.
i've spent ten years, trying to sing it all away
but the water keeps on falling from my tries
and heaven knows, heaven knows
i try to find a cure for the pain
oh my Lord, to suffer like you do,
it would be a lie to run away
a lie to run
it would be a lie
it would be a lie to run away'
-jon forman

CHINA!

For the pass four summers I have spent six weeks of my summers as a camp counselor at Ambassador Camp on Lake Waccamaw, North Carolina. I've known since early last semester that God was calling me to do something different with my summer this year. This was hard to accept, especially when the ninety-three year old woman, Aunt Sara, who founded and has run camp for the pass fifty four years died in the same semester. My desire was to stay where I was comfortable and where I knew I was needed. But I know God can run camp without me. So I kept searching for where He would be using me.
I am on the leadership team for the Baptist Collegiate Ministries on the Francis Marion University campus. BCM has a lot of summer mission opportunities during so I started the application for some of the trips. Still, nothing felt quite right (and let's note: there are no currently planned trips to China this summer!). I knew God was teaching me to wait on him.
Four friends and I were journeying to Passion2010 and I was REALLY hoping for some sort of revelation about where God might have me this summer. It came in a way I never expected. On the third evening of Passion, Louie Giglio kicked the main session off with a video about China. I honestly cannot tell you much of what was said in that video. There weren't any super convicting facts about the godlessness in China that would make one want to get involved with China, but I knew I had to make my way there. Chinese college students were all that I could think about. After the video, the girl that shared her testimony in the video was actually introduced by Louie and then prayed for everyone at Passion. When Sam started praying for us in Chinese it blew my mind!
After the main session, community groups were held. I was actually a little nervous about meeting in my family group. I knew we would be talking about what John Piper had just spoken about, but I had no clue what he said because my mind was on China the ENTIRE time. I had no idea how in the world I was supposed to get there, but Chinese college students were all that mattered. When my family group started talking about what Piper had spoken on I was clueless. Before we got too far into discussion, Clay, my community group's leader touched my back and asked if he could sit with us for a few minutes while we discussed what John had spoken about. The circle was just getting around to my understanding when I looked at Clay and explained that I did not have a clue what he had spoken about. And that I had been thinking about China the entire time. He looked at me and said, that it was rather funny that I had be given such an interest for China and that I should certainly talk with 'Biscuet', who lives in China. Of course at that moment I did not have a clue who in the world Biscuet was. But after community groups I was connected with him and began asking him about his passion for China
Biscuet actually teaches English in Hong Kong and works with an organization that has folks like him teaching English across East Asia. He's been with the English Language Institue/China for two years working as an English teacher.
Then he began talking about Engage. This program invites anyone to come and spend four weeks in mainland China, working with students and getting to know them right where they are and sharing Christ's love with them. Then, the fifth week is spent in Vietnam, Lous, Mongolia, Cambodia or mainland China doing the same thing there. I knew that out of the whole line up of these events I had to go! And this was exactly where God wanted me this summer.
China?! of all places! I've never considered China in my life! But I am so sure that there is where he will have me this summer!
Please be praying for China. Be praying for my journey there. And pray for the hearts of the people I and the team I will be working with will be interacting with this summer. I cannot wait and God has so much in store!

after a much needed phone chat.

'For the Lord's sake, yield to the people who have authority in this world: the king, who is the highest authority, and the leaders who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to praise those who do right. It is God's desire that by doing good you should stop foolish people from saying stupid things about you. Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Live as servants of God. Show respect for all people: Love the brothers and sisters of God's family, respect God, honor the king.'
1 Peter 2:13-17

i am not a robot.

they're gone. diminished. completely conquered. this victory is a strange feeling. its almost like its not a victory. and now that i'm thinking that, its not, not for my flesh anyway. and here comes the separation again. i want to feed my flesh, but this victory is so much better. God is good.

completion.

God is good.

We cannot question His perfect timing or ways. He is good.

Lately I've had several 'testimony swaps' with some great new/old friends of mine. And in the case that one does not follow me on twitter or have befriended me on facebook, God is teaching me so much about community. It is so important to build good relationships with people that are actively pursuing God and to talk about it! God built us for relationships to not only encourage, but to learn from one another. If I can manage to be taught through the hardship of another rather then having to endure it myself, why not take advantage of the story that God has given someone else?
In my case testimony swaps are rather spontaneous things. And they have a way of making us all think about our lives and consider what God is teaching us so much more than we do when we are thinking about things on our own. With being as verbal as I am, I often say things when telling my story that I did not even realize about myself or about God's character. He is so good about revealing himself in His own mysterious timing and way.

Lately I've felt a serious separation. an absolutely painful one. like the reconstruction pains. The closer that God draws me near to Him the farther my sin feels away from who I am. My King is molding me into a being so like Him that I can literally feel the separation that sin causes from His wholeness. That separation is painful. It tears from the inside. I am the problem. Its a strange thing, to be disgusted with yourself and with sin. But its such a right thing, if we allow God to be in control of redeeming our lives into something so much better than what we think we could make for ourselves.

He is good. And I'm so thankful for everything he is doing in my life.

authoring.

excellent. i think i'll write children's books one day.

because i love story time with community and tales about my superhero detective friends, Tim and Lacie.

we know not why.

'I find I must borrow yet another parable from George MacDonald. Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right a stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage; but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.' -C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity

The process of this remodeling isn't pretty. Pulling the old rotting foundation that we have built the house that we are on is not anything close to beautiful. It hurts. This is happening now. I do not have a clue what He is up to. But I wonder.
I want to fast forward through this process of knocking out walls and adding new things, but I cannot skip steps. This house would not be quite as stable if I was to hurry or skip things. And sometimes projects are left unfinished, but they will be completed when God is ready. Nothing is mine to direct.
But apparently I do have work to do inside of it. Do I have a choice?

This pile of words represents the confusion that I am in right now. Not only is the foundation moving, but the whole house is being relocated to a different destination. And I don't know where that is. .

honest dreams.

if i could do anything in the entire world, i would play bass in an indie band and hit up waffle house after shows. then sugar up on coffee and stay up until morn talking about important things in life, like politics and music, with the most quality of folks. ; )

that sort of always been a secret dream of mine. i'm not so sure why it was secret.

shaking

your general complexities leave me trembling.

the difference.

'Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed---not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence---continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose
Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, 'children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation.' Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life.' Philippians 2: 12-16a

That's the issue, you don't hold firmly to the word of life. We hold on to the death that this life presents. We hold on so tightly that we cannot even glimpse at His word of life. We're far too busy looking at ourselves and how to satisfy others, when God is the one we need to both look to and attempt to satisfy.

God's Word

God's word is so good and full of both knowledge and truth that I continue to read the same books and passages over and over because of it. I cannot get enough of the love He shows just through giving me once verse of scripture that I get lost in awe of the glory He displays through it. I reread these words because He is so alive and his words so active.

'All scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that all God's people may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.' -2 Timothy 3:16-17

nose.

i have a few favorite smells. Cheraw in the fall and the hair dye that i use are two of them. they are absolutely fantastic!

fiction

i've never had that feeling of true numbness until today. its probably the most unwanted feeling i've ever felt. i always thought it was fictional. . .

Sin and the Fact That We Can Do Nothing About It.

We can not, will not, and have absolutely no hopes of changing anyone's way of thinking until we show them Jesus. There are no hopes in trying to tell one to stop acting upon their gay feelings, to stop stealing from their parents, to stop cheating on their husband and wives, to stop lying to themselves until we show them Jesus. There is no reasoning with someone who doesn't agree with or has any reason to be moral. Too many people think of themselves as being completely alone. They're not. I fight hard enough to go against my sinful nature because I have an eternal reason to do so. Until we give those who do wrong the real reason to do so, we can expect no more of them than sin itself.

its mail time!

its camp time! which should mean mail time! i'll be at ambassador camp for the next six weeks and mail is always fun! so feel free to send me something delightful at:

Stephanie Moore
c/o Ambassador Camp
PO Box 200
Lake Waccamaw, NC 28450

And if you're too lazy to send an envelope please at least be praying for our team of staffers that will be working on Lake Waccamaw this summer!

guitar players.

so i recently discovered that i am not in any way attracted to guys that play guitar. i mean, that's cool and all, but it doesn't make a guy hot. now piano, that's a different story.

open your head!

The older I get the more annoyed I am by closed mindedness. That's not to say that I'm a tolerant fool that thinks everyone should get what they want. A huge annoyance grows in me when I read or hear close minded statements. That's not to say that one is not free to express every bit of their opinion, but keep in mind that the more you express, the more room you make for mine! I've been most aggravated by statements with clear prejudices and very little reasoning behind them. Let's not decrease our own intelligence by insulting another's.
I try my very best to keep an open mind, despite my strong political, religious and moral beliefs. We must realize not everyone is going to agree with us, and many people that don't, probably have a pretty good reason for thinking different. I think my roommate put it best when she declared that "you don't ignore your basic values...but you are compassionate and understanding. . . " This should continue. Not only for me, but for those that expect to be respected and have conversations with those who don't agree, in attempt to sharpen themselves.

hardcore.

i wonder why the heck i stay up like i do? what a dummy. i don't have time to make up for lost sleep until camp.

controversial brownies

not really

So brownies are my absolute favorite treats. And these are the best I've ever had-->

being controversial is my favorite. I'm not sure why I'm convinced that its the greatest, but I tried to convince an eighth grade friend of mine that a speech he had to make should have been controversial. not because he cares about anything controversial, but just because it would have made the most impact.

i get stranger everyday.

point.

why in the world are you going to question me going to a church that is an hour away? if i'm happy and that is where i am most fulfilled why would i consider anywhere else?

arrow

the night that rebecca lindsay and i laid together on ceaira's bed discussing what Christ had done for her is a simply beautiful one. and coming into the lodge with ceaira's face joyful, dispite the fact that rebecca had to talk to me makes me happy. with my arm around her, it took every bit of me not to just lay there and cry in gladness.

5 Simple Rules for Living with Brooke Rogers

1)Tell Brooke what you want done or if something needs to be done. This includes taking out the trash, changing the television channel, or playing a game.
2)Don't talk to Brooke when she gets quiet. She knows you care, but asking her about it is not going to make her talk or open up.
3)Unless you are a libertarian or Calvinist, and have an open mind about having more than surface level discussions about such, do not talk to Brooke about politics or religion.
4)Do not insult nerdy things without anticipating a defensive Brooke. She is a nerd and enjoys things like comics, cartoons, and film.
5)Do not expect Brooke to be more than sarcastic in a majority of conversations.

Lloyd

who the heck came up with the spelling of the name Lloyd? I have to stutter to say it correctly. that's dumb.

faithfulness

he is consistently so good to me.

sleep

i'm a fan of how beautiful you are.

and i hope its okay with you that i'm going to be the crazy cat lady when i grow up.

<3

He has all the love I'll ever need. I just have to throw my hands up in the air. I can't control this any more. Lord, just save me from being confused!

beach vs. mountains

i really like grass.

Baltimore.

"You're the God of this city,
You're the King of these people,
You're the Lord of this nation,
you are.

you're the light in the darkness
you're the hope to the hopeless
you're the peace to the restless
you are.

there is no one like our God.
there is no one like our God.

for greater things have yet to come,
and greater things are still to be done in this city.
greater things have yet to come
greater things are still to be done in this city."

Oh how my heart is still there. There is so much to be done in that city. The labor of our team is not close to complete. I do pray that God continues to be proclaimed in every area of that city.

fox news,

'talk is cheap, but lies are even cheaper. . '
-the morning benders.

The Princess and the Frog

Apparently it's a huge deal that there has never been an African American princess produced from the Disney company. Some articles has even claimed that Disney has never even had an American princess. That's obviously wrong. Has no one ever seen Pocahontas? Talk about American! Although, very few even consider her a princess. Be real, she was the chief's daughter and she was epic. I'm not gonna lie. Pocahontas my absolute favorite princess when I was growing up (and its a pretty beautiful film as far as animation goes). But above all else she was an actual princess. Some 'princesses' can't even say that.
How has Disney gone so long without someone noticing the missing race from all the Disney Princess products that have become immensely popular over the past few years? Everything from Barbie dolls to cupcake liners have been produced with a Disney Princess theme! I guess no one ever made a fuss about there not being an African America. But I mean really, there was a mermaid, but not a black girl!
Of course an outrageous number of blogs and other opinion sites have claimed that Barack Obama is the cause of the domino effect of racial identity across the cultural spectrum. Let's not give him all the credit. I mean, props on being the first non-white president, but seriously? Can't anyone breakthrough racial boundries without praising him for starting it all? Anyway, the new princess' animated film will be set in Cajun Louisiana during the Jazz Age. Talk about an interesting cultural opportunity. Let's hope she becomes a classic even if its only because of her color (although hopefully she will do something epic). But anything is better than sleeping. I'm all for knocking out some of the current 'princesses' so that this new girl can take her spot. What the heck is Sleeping Beauty doing considered one anyway?
All this to say, I am looking forward to this movie in attempt to see how the company has reflected the culture of the time, but more importantly to feel like a little girl again in watching a new princess movie.

we are nothing.

"Who can speak and have it happen
if the Lord has not decreed it?
It is not from the mouth of the Most High
that both calamities and good things come?
Why should the living complain
when punished for their sins?"
Lamentations 3:37-39

cling to the Lord and his promises!
he is the only one worth trusting.

music

"good morning,

Baltimore!"

I'm actually going to Baltimore during spring break! It is going to be an absolutely awesome mission trip. There is a small group from the Francis Marion BCM going and we will be working with two churches and a group from Winthrop while we are there. Please pray for our hearts, physical preparation, and our journeys to a spiritually desolate place.

The Lord is ever so gentle with me. He is so gracious. I'm not sure why he is, but am I ever so thankful for such a beautiful grace. way to astound me once again!

issues.

pastels

why have i never realized just how much i truly love art?

i need Him.

'my heart is restless in me
my wings are all worn out
i am walking through the wilderness
and i cannot get out
i need you, oh, i need you
blessed Savior come
i need you, oh, i need you
fill the every longing of my soul!

oh, how i need you, Lord!
i need your perfect word
with tearful eyes i see
the sin that i afford.
i need to weep and pray
for all the thousand ways
that i have failed you just today. .

my bed is soaked with sadness
my sadness has no end
a downward spiral of despair
that i keep falling in
i need you, oh, i need you
to you my soul shall fly
i need you, oh, i need you
Yaweh, how i love you more than life

oh how i need you Lord,
i need your perfect word
with tearful eyes i see
the sin that i afford.
i need to weep and pray
for all the thousand ways
that i have failed you just today. .'

the swift

what's next?

'All women are stupid and all men are bastards'

We should attempt to free ourselves from such stereotypes.

A feminist should celebrate who they are created to be, not with their body, but with their hearts.

history.

who did what in history is stupid.
learning cause and effects are good stuff.
just saying.

crash, burn and compassion

We don't know any stories but our own, and of that we only know the past. We cannot judge or act without the thought that the people we interact with are going through things that are just as complicated as (if not more than) our own circumstances. We cannot imagine the rings that emit from one irresponsible and unconcerned action, particularly racists ones. I've heard it said that there is unequal opportunity between groups that do not allow for adequate lifestyle achievement. But if you get down to the core of unevenness among individuals its not a matter of opportunities, but rather a matter of laziness. If we declare that someone of another stereotypical group is not progressive, we are ourselves are in such a hole. By not attempting to understand others we become the people we despise.
I feel as though each of the stronger points that I have been making lately are a reminder of compassion. And there is no promise in compassion that it will be shown back. But we must continue to show it. Generally as human beings, and specifically as Christians with higher purpose. People are all different and to even begin to think that one or a group is more superior in the eyes of the world is completely ludicrous.
Speaking of 'Ludacris' he, along with a large array of cast members, do a pretty terrific job making this point clear through the movie Crash. Pointing out how our lives as humans are so completely intertwined, this film allows a vision into understanding one another and pointing out the flaws of each of our lives that actually make us more similar than many of us want to believe.

laughter

"When the first baby laughed for the first time, the laugh broke into a thousand pieces, and they all went skipping about. And that was the beginning of faeries." Finding Neverland

and thankfully it was the beginning of laughs. how i do miss the imagination of children, so much that i some times cry. Such innocent laughing is so important. about as important as their imagination.

coconut

"you are
an easy girl
to love
an easy girl
to kiss
an easy girl
to miss
when you're gone
i say girl
you say yeah
i love you
easy girl
please say
i do"
coconut
records

approval

what a blessing good friends are. good conversations until 4 am are absolutely wonderful when they are with someone you love and didn't know how much you did until then. goodness that was good!

although, i miss bill jolly's 'gooooood mornings'

I don't know how he does it. Capturing my heart like this. No human has ever been able to get me up as easily. He really is the only one who is able to wake me like He does!

". . .He wakens me morning by morning,
wakens my ear like one being taught."
Isaiah 50:4b

the curious case of benjamin button.

This movie was simply lovely. And I usually don't say that about movies that last about three hours long, but I really enjoyed it (and i'm not even a big fan of Brad Pitt). Timing can change everything. And encounters with others are not something that need to be forced. Things will only last if they come about timely.

blessings

"Listen to me, you who pursue righteousness
and who seek the Lord:
Look to the rock from which you were cut
and to the quarry from which you were hewn;
look to Abraham, your father,
and to Sarah,who gave you birth.
When I called him he was only one man,
and I blessed him and made him many."
Isaiah 51:1-2

bless with it.

the patriarchs.

the journey starts tomorrow. i beg for strength that is not my own.

so maybe i do want it to rain tomorrow. .i can hear the wind.

rock.

I love when He makes my heart beat faster than usual.

reality and politics.

“Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.” Titus 3:1-2

Obviously there is a lot wrong with our world morally and politically, but what are Christians supposed to think or do about it? Too often we don’t do anything and some times when we do act we end up giving off a harsh overtone (and often a completely distorted picture of Christianity). The one of the most difficult challenges is attempting to find a balance in how to respond to the world as a Christian. There are three things we absolutely cannot be: lazy, slanderous, or tolerant. Each of these ideals have major pitfalls and are too often the paths chosen of those who are confused about what God wants them to show the world.
Laziness is something that I know I personally suffer a lot from. Honestly, I think most teenagers do. But as some of the most influential people in so many areas of life we have to consider how terrible of a consequence being lazy is. And in this case, this is not only for about teenagers. We must fight off the temptation to ignore the problems of the world and declare that they are not our own and then, that because they have nothing to do with us directly, there is nothing we can do. There are people we come in contact with everyday that if we just showed compassion could begin to change a lot of the moral to that in itself would not be an act of laziness. Proverbs 10:4 says “Lazy hands make for poverty, but diligent hands bring wealth.” This isn’t to say that if we stay active politically that we are going to gain anything monetarily (because the truth is, we probably won’t), but as a child of God we will further the kingdom of Heaven, and what better reward is there but that?
We don’t think a lot of political jokes. Most of them are pretty funny, I will admit, but there is a point where such jokes become clearly slanderous. If anyone, whether we agree with them or not, is put into a position of authority over us, we must submit to them. We may not agree with them, but I am sure that there are some points in which individuals would agree (no matter the lust for a difference there may be).
When the letter to Titus speaks that we are to be gentle toward everyone, an interpretation can be drawn that in that sense we are to be gentle when confronting others in our differences. This is often where the harsh overtones come in. So often I see people attempting to bring out truth, but in a way in which turns unbelievers completely away from God. With the knowledge of serving a sovereign God you have to realize that your words are not your own when speaking to others that may not believe the same as you do (not only religiously but also politically). Therefore, we cannot allow ourselves to take over and diminish those who we do not see eye to eye with. We must allow the Lord’s gentle spirit to control our tongues in such situations.

All this is said to make the point that I am no more perfect than anyone reading this. Most often when I post anything that is supposed to point out any flaw, I am most often speaking to myself. I cannot be lazy, slanderous or tolerant in my actions in any way. Too often these are sins I fall into in every aspect of my life. So despite the interest to write about the way we should view things politically I have written about sin in itself. This reminds of how real and living the Word of God is. He stays so alive through his word, and I don’t use this to my advantage often enough.

love.

my life revolves around a summer camp. seems impractical, but i love it and everyone there more than anything on this planet.

to, from and about my favorites.

i love them. i can't imagine them not together. they belong together. just let it be. let it be.
stop fighting it. stop fighting something so good.


thank you for taking me the way i am.


i want a day of coffee, rain, and the Word. 'tomorrow' starts at 8am.


"lung of love leaves me breathless"

far away.

"i will live my life
as a lobsterman's wife
on an island in the blue bay.
he will take care of me
he will smell like the sea,
and close to my heart
he'll always stay.

i will bear three girls
all with strawberry girls
Lou Ella and Nellie and Faye
while i'm combing they're hair
i will catch his warm stare
on our island in the blue bay.

far away, far away, i wanna go far away
to a new life on a new shore line
where the water is blue,
and the people are new
to another island, in another life."
ingrid michaelson.

keep it real.

i can't do everything. i can't be everything. i can only be myself and my relationship with whoever you are is hopefully a friend. one you can talk to and feel comfortable around. you don't have to share everything about you with me because i don't expect anyone is completely able of doing so with any other human being. but be real. completely real. i won't care if you're different than me. because, let's face it, who isn't? that's all i'm saying. today.

indecision

"That had always been my way, though. Making decisions was the painful part for me, the part I agonized over. But once the decision was made, I simply followed through---usually with relief that the choice was made. Sometimes the relief was tainted by despair, like my decision to come to Forks. But it was still better than wrestling with the alternatives."

facts.

I need to renew my mysteriousness, but not to become ordinary. Because I'm not. Girls, be chased.

True Life

frightening.

"its good to be scared, it means you've got something to lose." grey's anatomy

Fall

Cheraw has a certain smell during the fall. I like it a lot. It reminds me of growing up.

NEW BLOG!

Brooke and I decided that since there are so many pictures of me pretending to be someone else, it would be quite interesting to share them!

Check out The Many Faces of Stephanie Moore

Economy

its a little unnerving to learn that both Obama and McCain are both left handed. . . because Herbert Hoover was too. Considering our economy, its pretty humorous how history repeats itself. But not so humorous that most of the people I know are going to be waiting in breadlines in the next two years. 

What is humility?

"Consider it a pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." James 1:2-3
Are the things we endure here in America really what is referred to here? The things we face such as searching for a new job in a country with a failing economy, attempting to finish our degrees despite spiteful professors, or caring for children in a world of sin are so meaningless compared to what so many have endured in the name of the Lord before us. Sure, we do not live in days of simplicity or security, but are we even supposed to do so? When have we ever been promised times of prosperity?
In Psalm 85, it is stated that the Lord "promises peace to his people." This is true enough, but how many of us have this inward peace that David speaks of here in verse 8? We are far too busy with making ourselves greater in society because so many of us assume that our ability to share God's word with others comes from the power we receive through "success" in today's society. Do we really want such success in this world of death?
We excuse ourselves and our accomplishments in the name of the Lord in attempt to bring our wasted lives to Him. He does not need us to be completed. None of us deserve anything but hell and here we are in America attempting to bring God something that our human hands have done without giving Him any glory for such action.
Our sense of humility before God has been devoured by the selfishness of the world we live in. We have allowed this to happen. We have concerned ourselves with finding security and purpose in the world before sharing God's word with others, when our security and purpose should be in Him.
If we were to find ourselves on the bottom of the world's standards, what could possibly be taken from us if God lived within us?

American Politics

"Let me just say. . I don't want a monkey or a man with a permanent stroke as president. And if you happen to disagree with me, you're wrong."


wow.


So on to a more serious note: American politics absolutely disgust me. I can hardly fathom how far down the hole of garbage that we have gotten ourselves in. And what choices we have for the 2008 election! They're only about two of the worst choices we could ever select from. What have we done?! All we can do at this point is pray.

If we did not praise, then rocks would cry out. .

The Thrica Network On Beauty

I love my friends. I especially love them when I see God's glory spilling out of their souls. To see them humble themselves before God and to earnestly know that everything they are is only because of Christ. As if that wasn't beautiful in itself. .

I have never had my heart race in awe of God until tonight. How beautiful He is!

"When I said, "My foot is slipping," your unfailing lve, LORD, supported me." Psalm 94:18.

boys like girls

so, let me just say:
I really wish people understood that just because I talk with a guy does not necessarily mean I'm obsessed or in love with him. Yes, I am excited about my future husband, but right now I'm okay with just being friends with everyone. I'm not ready for another relationship in my life right now. I have a lot of growing in the Lord before I start settling.
No one freak out if I talk to a guy. It usually means I just want to be their friend. Don't look into any of my actions if you are a boy. I attempt to treat everyone equal, the better you are as a friend the more I spend time with you. Just like any other friend.
just saying.

future.

I want children named Nathan, Nigel, Neal, Natalie, and Nora.

And a cat named Nova.

gas.

carry on.

so today I decided to come home this weekend.

and this morning i was getting ready to go and realized. . that this is the first time all year that I have not consistently been involved in the lives of children.

and I hate it. I miss working with kids.

last semester I had Ms. Thurman's class. I have children at camp all summer long.

I miss everything about them.

This just reaffirms that working with kids is what I am supposed to do with my life.

meat is disgust.

please ignore CJ's last post! 

I like to eat, eat, pork chops and potatoess
O loke to oat, oat, pork chops ond pototoes
Ee leek tee eet, eet, peerk cheeps eend peeteetees
Oo look too oot, oot, poork choops oond pootootoes

VP choice

good thing McCain just gave his chance of presidency away.

ptL!

"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

Colossians 1:13-14

i

appreciate the little things.

skills

So, things are really going quite well. I'm really super excited about the two honors classes I have this semester, that include English 200H and public speaking. I really am excited about the challenge that each one will present. Other than those two I have a pretty basic math class and a music class that should be quite a breeze, for a while anyway, just considering my clarinet skills. haha ;-)

Tonight I went to the BCM building just to interact and whatnot because they were having an open house; I pretty much fell in love with the atmosphere (although camp definitely has it topped, no questions asked!). But I'm meeting tons of great and new people through it and I was quite excited to have reached out of my dorm room with my two suitemates and roommate. Speaking of them, thankfully we all get along, but none of them are exactly aligned with me spiritually or willing to say that they would like to be. The Lord is working through all of this, and I attempt to shine brightly for God and his kingdom through every action. I have to be so intentional about my actions.

sperm olympics

write me a letter. seriously.

that would be amazing. just be sure to include you include your return address if you want me to write you a letter back. Here's my address.

Stephanie Moore
Campus #1151
5130 East Palmetto Street
Florence, SC 29506

my lover?

"if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends"
-Wannabe, Spice Girls

seriously?

let me just say that if anyone wanted to be my lover the way to my heart would not be to get the hook up with my friends. what a wack lyric.

The Spice Girls have always made me laugh.

Be not afraid to dispose oneself for love. For within such a frame are riches far beyond a thousand kings. Suppressing even the thought, suppresses one's ability to allow oxygen to enter the chest. Such a sham would dilate the opportunity for loss far greater than this earth.

Sovereign.

I think people continually forget just how sovereign God is.

Everyone questions why particular, usually bad, things happen. They have a fit over it and, more often than not, it is just a matter of waiting for the good to come from it before people end the questioning of why that particular incident happened. Why does it take this long questioning process to help people understand? God didn't suddenly appear. He had his majestic hand on the situation the entire time. He knew what he was doing.

Bad things happen for God's glory.

If not, what would He save us from?

go there.

http://stuffwhitepeoplelike.com/

This is Greenville right here.

smokers.

overwhelmingthoughts.

distinctive noses

not black hair

I dream of him--

I wonder if he thinks of me

because

my love for him could fill the sea. 

Beckoning my soul

I feel the invisible

strings. 

how many kings?

follow a star to a place unexpected

would you believe after all we've projected 

a child in a manger

lowly and small, the weakest of all

unlikeliest hero, wrapped in his mother's shawl

just a child

is this who we've waited for?

cause how many kings stepped down from their thrones?

how many lords have abandoned their homes? 

how many greats have become the least for me?

how many gods have poured out their hearts

to romance a world that has torn all apart?

how many fathers gave up their sons for me?

bringing our gifts for the newborn savior

all that we have, whether costly or meek

because we believe

gold for his honor and frankincense for his pleasure

and myrrh for the cross he'll suffer

do you believe

is this who we've waited for?

how many kings stepped down from their thrones?

how many lords have abandoned their homes?

how many greats have become the least, for me?

how many gods have poured out their hearts

to romance a world that has torn all apart?

how many fathers gave up their sons for me?

only one did that for me. 

Hi, I'm Stephanie, and B-T-Dubs, I don't like to eat hams or use full words.

da moose

da moose, da moose, da moose, da moose,

swimming in the water, swimming in the water, 

eating his dinner, eating his dinner,

where did he go?

HE WENT TO SLEEP. 

da moose, da moose, da moose, da moose,

swimming in the water, swimming in the water,

eating his dinner, eating his dinner, 

where did he go?

HE WENT TO SLEEP.

now this is where it gets really sad. . .

da moose, da moose, da moose, da moose,

floating in the water, floating in the water,

not eating his dinner, not eating his dinner, 

where did he go? 

HE DECOMPOSED!! 

camp.

i love camp ever so much. 

love

"I will plant her for myself in the land; 

I will show my love to the one I called

'Not my loved one.'

I will say to those called 'Not my 

people,' 'You are my people';

and they will say, 'You are my God.'"

Hosea 2:23

beach

i love the beach.

 

its one of the most relaxing places on this planet. 

i want a beach house. 

annoyed

Yes, I'm a vegetarian. 

"You've been eating meat for the past almost eighteen years! Why are you going to stop eating it now?"

It is completely practical to start being one now, despite my age of eighteen. Do you think that something you ate six years ago is still in your body? I guess you forgot it has natural tendencies to clean itself. 

It's stinkin' healthy. All of the vitamins, etc. that anyone would ever need can be found in fruits, vegetables, and grains. Meats are not essential to the human diet. I intake no grease whatsoever. Yeah, being a vegetarian is a dumb idea. It's completely impractical. 

"There are still traces of meat in your vegetables. I mean, manure is used to fertilize the plants you eat."

Oh yeah, that is right. I am made of the same material as my excrement. I mean, aren't all animals. 

More arguments later.

absorbed.

You know those days when almost every ounce of energy has been completely absorbed out of you? I feel as if I could sleep for days. Yet, I still have things that I was supposed to have turned in weeks ago for school. Yes, my three hours of classes. I completely despise waking up at six in the morning only to find myself returning to my house around 11:15. I at least wish I could sleep a bit longer. 

Today was an interesting day as far as my many conversations with boys that I haven't had a real conversation with in months go. It was actually quite a blessing.

teaching

Let me just say, that I am absolutely thrilled about teaching! Having my own classroom and students is going to be amazing and I cannot wait to be teaching. 

On my last day of teacher cadet I stayed at Cheraw Intermediate School until 4:15 (note that I usually leave around 11:15)! 

I'm so glad that God has pointed me to my passion. 

fast food nation

meat is crazy stuff.

Image

Old houses were scaffolding once
and workmen whistling.

T.E. Hulme

Terence, this is stupid stuff

Terence, this is stupid stuff:
You eat your victuals fast enough;
There can't be much amiss, 'tis clear,
To see the rate you drink your beer.
But oh, good Lord, the verse you make,
It gives a cha the belly-ache.
The cow, the old cow, she is dead;
It sleeps well, the horned head:
To hear such tunes as killed the cow.
Pretty friendship 'tis to rhyme
Your friendship to death before their time
Moping melancholy mad:
Come, pipe a tune to dance to, lad.

Why, if 'tis dancing you would be,
There's brisker pipes than poetry.
Say, for what were hop-yards meant,
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a beer of England brews
Livelier liquor than the Muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God's ways to man.
Ale, man, ale's the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think:
Look into the pewter pot
To see the world as the world's not.
And faith, 'tis pleasant till 'tis past:
The mischief is that 'twill not last.
Oh I have been to Ludlow fair
And left my necktie God knows where,
And carried half way home, or near,
Pints and quarts of Ludlow beer:
Then the world seemed none so bad,
And I myself a sterling lad;
And down in lovely muck I've lain,
Happy till I woke again.
Then I saw the morning sky:
Heigho, the tale was all a lie;
The world, it was the old world yet,
I was I, my things were wet,
And nothing now remained to do
But begin the game anew.

Therefore, since the world has still
Much good, but much less good that ill,
And while the sun and moon endure
Luck's a chance, but trouble's sure.
I'd face it as a wise man would,
And train for ill and not for good
'Tis true, the stuff I bring for sale
Is not so brisk a brew as ale:
Out of a stem that scored the hand
I wrung it in a weary land.
But take it: if the smack is sour,
The better for the embittered hour;
It should do good to heart and head
When your soul is in my soul's stead;
And I will friend you, if I may,
In the dark and cloudy day.

There was a king reigned in the East
There, when kings will sit to feast,
They get their fill before they think
With poisoned meat and poisoned drink.
He gathered all the springs to birth
From the many-venomed earth;
First a little, thence to more,
He sampled all her killing store;
And easy, smiling, seasoned sound,
Sate the king when healths went round.
They put arsenic in his meat
And stared aghast to watch him eat;
They poured strychnine in his cup
And shook to see him drink it up:
They shook, they stared as white's their shirt:
Them it was their poison hurt.
---I tell the tale that I heard told.
Mithridates, he died old.

A.E. Housman

Stephanie

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